Information about the book

At a time when you can find a seemingly endless number of singles at the swipe of a finger, it can still be a real struggle for men and women who wrestle with commitment to finally take the plunge. Why? Avrum Nadigel, relationship and family therapist, former punk guitarist and author of the new book Learning To Commit: The best time to work on your marriage is when you're single believes the answer lies within the relationships we observed and developed in our family of origin.
Nadigel, a former commitment-phobe who has battled serious anxieties around commitment and marriage himself, relied upon ideas from Bowen Family Systems Theory to better understand himself and uncover the patterns of behaviour that were preventing him from committing. This book compiles the personal lessons he learned and the theory he wrestled with to gain perspective.

As a songwriter, I’d romanticize my attempts to stave off commitment with flowery lyrics about independence and truth. I was a maverick forging my own path, different from my friends who had sleepwalked into long-term relationships out of fear of being alone.
— Learning to Commit, Avrum Nadigel

Learning to Commit aims to debunk common relationship myths and the Hollywood- fueled idea that there is only one person who can complete you. Nadigel encourages those struggling with commitment to discard what they think they know about love and relationships and instead focus on the biggest influence on their emotional lives, their own families.

That’s where we learned how to love, fight (fairly or otherwise), problem-solve, and a plethora of other behaviours, many of which we are not aware. While our family influences don’t dictate exactly who we will date or how we’ll fare in those relationships, they do supply us with most of the raw material that we have to work with in life.
— Learning to Commit, Avrum Nadigel

Step by step, Nadigel's book teaches the skill of commitment by demonstrating how to overcome the anxieties and resistance holding us back from a successful life- partnership. Whether single and yearning or coupled and conflicted, Nadigel's techniques are reassuring and inspiring in the pursuit of a happier and more durable love.

You must remember most of all to have faith in your own untapped potential. Beneath the veneer of your day-to-day coping mechanisms, complete with reactivity and defensiveness, you have the capacity to exhibit creative thinking, courage, resilience, and self-calm.
— Learning to Commit, Avrum Nadigel

Additional information about Learning to Commit, click to view in browser (right click to save document):

  1. Key messages 
  2. Sample interview questions
  3. Short bio
  4. Long bio click here

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Product specs:

  • TITLE: Learning to Commit: The best time to work on your marriage is when you’re single
  • AUTHOR: Avrum Nadigel
  • PUBLISHER: Self-Counsel Press, Inc. 
  • DATE OF PUBLICATION: September, 2015
  • ISBN-10: 1770402454
  • ISBN-13: 978-1770402454
  • PAGES: 118