#10: Chocolates and Prozac on Valentine’s Day

This week, Avrum and Lorna launch a multi-part discussion (Part 1 of 4) about relationships, picking partners, Valentine’s Day and how it all relates to the family systems concept of Differentiation of Self.  

  • How do you pick one person to marry?
  • People marry spouses who have equal basic levels of Differentiation of Self.  (Bowen, M. 1978, p. 262.)
  • Trying to describe the human being in factual biological natural terms.
  • The anxiety that pushes people to put their profiles together…gets in the way.
  • The better able you are to bring your clearest thinkingto creating a profile…you’ll have a better chance of catching in your net people that are a better fit for you.

Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. New York: J. Aronson. 

Hecht, L. (2015, September 4). Home. Retrieved January 7, 2016, from http://lornahecht.com/ 

Nadigel, A. (2015). Learning to commit: The best time to work on your marriage is when you're single. International Self-Counsel Press. 

Nadigel, A. (n.d.). Avrum Nadigel - Home. Retrieved October 14, 2015, from http://www.nadigel.com/ 

Schnarch, D. (1991). Constructing the sexual crucible: An integration of sexual and marital therapy. New York: Norton. 

Schnarch, D. (1997). Passionate marriage: Love, sex, and intimacy in emotionally committed relationships. New York: W.W. Norton.